matrixrefugee | (no subject) (Reply)

I sometimes wonder why I bother to make friends or even try to. Seems like whenever I manage to find a group of people I feel comfortable with, circumstances conspire to cause that group to eventually part company. First my parish, now my faction on the MxO is parting its ways. I never really had much of a family aside from my parents, and I'd love to find a group that I could hang with and feel like I was part of something special, but wasn't so close-knit that it gets claustrophobic. The closest I came to that was the MxO faction and now it seems like everyone there is parting company. I honestly feel like cancelling my Internet connection and just pulling into myself, so I never have to feel the pain of seeing friends move on ever again. The psychologists can say you need nine bzillion friends to be mentally healthy, but I can't say it feels healthy to be always saying goodbye to people.

I'm just in a sad mood right now, don't mind me. I hope something happens to help me feel better. Seems like when I start to feel better something comes along to leave me feeling worse, and I honestly wish the pain would stop, because it seems like the times of happiness are a few fleeting bright spots in the middle of a lot of darkness.