Anniversary blues

[matrixrefugee]

The eighth anniversary of the break-up of my engagement is this weekend, and I feel like my psyche is coming apart at the seams. It's been eight years, and I've only had one relationship since then, one I had to cut short because the guy was too dead-set on having a bunch of kids, when I don't even want *ONE*, and because he completely misunderstood my old-school feminist outlook. I'm sick of feminists all being mistaken for misandryist bra-burners who think all men are TEH EVOL!!!1111, when I'm more like St. Edith Stein. Check out her book entitled simply "Woman", and that's me all over. Finding her was like finding an aunt who knew pretty much exactly how I feel.

I just wish I could find someone to fill this need, to help me scratch this itch before it tears me in two. I've been tempted to put my virginity up for sale on eBay, with the starting bid at one million dollars (on the principle that guys with that much money are often better educated and are more likely to make my first -- and last -- time worthwhile. Lest you think that I'd so desperate for a lay, that I'd settle on the first guy who comes along, I want someone who'll whisper 19th century poetry in my ear as he's making love to me.

God, do I feel dirty for mentioning this...

Comments

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

MR, have you considered getting a vibrator?

[matrixrefugee.livejournal.com]

Well, as they say, alone is lonely, plus that sort of thing is outside the pale of my moral code, but I'm really starting to question that.

[(Anonymous)]

With all due respect, I think God (Whoever he/she/it may be) would look down less on masturbation than He/She/It would on auctioning yourself. I'm of the opinion that we as humans wouldn't have been given our urges if it wasn't fully intended by our creator. And, though I don't want to get too detailed on a 'public' forum, there are plenty of ways to go about it without "spoiling" yourself, if that's your concern.
~Ruby

Oh, and-

[(Anonymous)]

Wealth does NOT equal brains. For goodness sake, where do you think Paris Hilton and her ilk come from?
~R

[koemiko.livejournal.com]

Deep heartbreak is a terrible thing. It also seems so rare these days for people to feel the hurt for years... so I think I know where you're coming from on that one. Even so, you have my sympathy.

That said... I would suggest getting something to relieve yourself. As much as I want someone who'll whisper 19th century poetry into my ear, when I'm gooned out by my own itch, my standards drop so low that I insult my self-respect.

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I second (or is it third?) the vibrator recommendation. I doubt a loving God would want you to be this miserable if there were something you could do to remedy the situation.

I'm afraid that's all the advice I have energy to come up with.