Sorry I've been quiet lately

[matrixrefugee]

I'd post something happy and interesting, but I'm afraid right now, I'm so emotionally drained all I can feel is pain right now. The past two days have been hellish and the things that usually cheer me up aren't working. I just wish it didn't hurt to be me right now, and I just wish people -- at home, at work, etc. -- would stop asking me to do things for them when I feel like I need someone to do something for me. I just wish someone would surprise me with something, anything, even something tiny, to let me know that my presence in the universe matters in and of itself, and not for what I can do for other people, that someone would say the right thing that would break this cycle of despair that I seem stuck in. I'm in so much pain, I'm afraid to ask, for fear of being considered too demanding...

Comments

[elaryn.livejournal.com]

You matter. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you friended me. *BIG hugs* If you need something, just ask. Here I am. Really... :-)

[veilofveronica.livejournal.com]

((hugs))
Just wanted to tell you that you're in my thoughts. I've been in a similar place to where you are..and you will come out of it, there is hope in sight.

[ladyneferankh.livejournal.com]

Shhh, there now. * hugs *

If there's anything at all I can do, don't hesitate to ask.

I understand what you mean, I've gone through seemingly "normal" days that actually felt like Hell on earth.

[nightofcydonia.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel mate. Kind of wish I didn't, but I do and I'm currently getting frequent reminders (often in the form of rejection letters. It's rather hard to be happy with youself when it seems like no one wants you). However, as I decided fairly early on in life (when I was the school target to be exact), if you let the crap in life get to you then whoever/whatever is causing said crap has won, and there's no way in hell I was going to give it that satisfaction. I just gritted my teeth, dug in my heels and kept moving forwards (although I now seem to have stalled). As for the people who keep bugging you for things, tell them to get stuffed (with appropriate alterations of wording and politness level of course). It's not being demanding, it's just an unfortunate fact of life that if you don't stand up for yourself you're going to get trampled on (something else I know far too much about) I'm pretty bad at the whole emotional support thing so if I've put my foot in it at all, I'm sorry and I've been waffling on a fair bit so I'm going to try and wrap it up pretty quick. Ref, you matter. You're smart, funny and obviously pretty damn tough under all the emotional misery (it takes one to know one). A world without you in it would be a damn sight poorer for it, no matter what it may seem like sometimes and you bloody well better remember that.

*uses goofy Abel icon in a blatent attempt to make you laugh*

~Weaver