matrixrefugee | The Fanfiction Defense, Part II: Lee Goldberg, Anti-Fanfic Wangstah

Once in a while, I come up with ideas for stories to cheer myself up in a wierd way. If you love fanfic and you've been following the anti-fanfic debate I referred to in my last entry, you'll thoroughly enjoy this next offering. The idea came to me when I was taking a bath, and I was mulling over Mr. Goldberg's self-righteous wangst on his webjournal.

Lee Goldberg, Anti-Fanfiction Wangstah

NOTE/WARNING: This is a work of satire. It is not a personal attack, any more than those political cartoons that make George W. look like he has elephant-sized ears, or make John Kerry look like his chin is so long that the tip is down near the base of his ribcage. It's my way of making light of a situation. I don't own Lee Goldberg or his journal, or the comments (except *maybe* the one or two comments I made on it), though if I "owned" Lee Goldberg, I would have him get his sorry rump into therapy or something like that.

October 15, 2004

Subject: I HATE FANFICKERS!!!!!!!!1111111

OH MI GAAWDDD!!! Ive bin trying 2 deefend mi writting agenst theze stoop1d fanfickers an tehy wont leeve meee aloan!!!111111 tehy r sooooo MEEEEEEN!!!1111 tehy FUCKIN STOL mi characterz an tehy wont eevn say tehy r sawrry!!!!! How dare tehy go affter a l33t wrrrit3r lik MEEEE !!! tehy dont make a sent on tehre fanficks but thatz kopywrite violashun an I ougghta bee able 2 SOO tehm even tho I mak morre munny in a w33k tahn tehy doo in a y34r!!!111111 I amm teh HAWTN3SS cuz i wrot stuf 4 "DIAGNOSIS MURDER" an "SeaQuest" eevn tho tohse showz r canselled!!! B0w 2 mEE!!!!

COMMENTS:

Yay, Lee! You da man! You show them what a really good writer is like! *Bowing, kissing ass*

Toady1 posted at 3:09 pm EST

LEEOHMIGAWD!!! You r like teh best teevee riter EVAR!!! I LUUUURRRVE UUUUUU!!!!! I WANNA HAVE UR BAYBEEE!!!!

Tiffany_teh_fangurl posted at 3:15 pm EST

Thank you so much for convincing me to kick the fanfic habit! You're like my personal redeemer, man! You're my Jesus!Lee!!!!

Bob posted at 3:20 pm EST

"I amm teh HAWTN3SS cuz i wrot stuf 4 "DIAGNOSIS MURDER"!!!"

I've only watched "Diagnosis Murder" maybe three or four times, and I wasn't too impressed with it. It isn't the worst show ever, but it wasn't the best either. Listening to your rants on GAFF, I can't help hearing a lot of self-serving whining. Learn to Live and Let Live.

R.C.H. Mulhare posted at 3:30 pm EST

//I've only watched "Diagnosis Murder" maybe three or four times, and I wasn't too impressed with it.\\

WHUT!!!111 Yoo hate "DIAGNOSIS MURDER" !!111111 wher iz yoor tayste, yoo ungr8ful BIATCH!!!!!

Lee Goldberg posted at 3:33 pm EST

"yoo ungr8ful B**TCH!!!!!"

I'm not ungrateful, I'm just expressing my own opinion. I have every right to do so, just as you do. But one thing you do not have the right to do is attack me using strong language. Would you talk to your girlfriend or wife like that?

R.C.H. Mulhare posted at 3:45 pm EST

Lee, please take your head out of your ass and then remove the stick. Get a damn life. We write fanfictions as a way of showing how much we really appreciate the writers' creativity.

Wolfman Jake posted at 3:50 pm EST