So much on my mind...

[matrixrefugee]

...I've been having a hard time posting lately. Please don't think I've dropped off the face of the Internet, I've just been wrestling with a lot of tough stuff.

My disillisonment with the Catholic Church -- as an organization -- is still eating at me, and I'm seriously looking outside it for some other path to follow. Granted, I've spoken to a couple of priests about it, and they keep telling me to not let the organization get in the way of Christ, to focus less on the fanclub, and more on *Him*. But I'm afraid this isn't working for me. The fanclub is just too loud and too obnoxious, between the rules-lawyers, the smug-marrieds-with-kids, the polite borderline homophobes who have trouble discerning having a same-sex attraction quirk and acting on those attractions and everything else. I bet even Christ Himself would agree with Oscar Wilde when he said, "Heaven preserve me from my followers." Right now, the only faiths that attract me are Taoism (which, like Buddhism, is more like a philosophy than an actual faith/religion), and Druidic Paganism. But I'll admit, I'm hesitating about embracing the latter on two counts:

1.) My dad will throw a fit over it, since he tends to be very rigid about religious identity. I've already spoken with my mom about her; she said she could accept it, but she'd be wondering why and wondering what she did wrong when she raised me. I told her, this is my decision if and when I make it, and it's no reflection on her as a parent; I'm a semi-adult and I have to find my own way through this universe and beyond.

2.) Fluffy pagans... Mind you, if you're pagan and reading this, and your approach to the Craft is more light-hearted, that's your way of doing things and I respect it. It's the people who inSIST fluffiness is close to Goddess-liness that bore me to tears. I like my goddesses with their at times anything but metaphoric fangs and claws intact. On the other hand, I can't abide the femi-nazi-like pagans who insist that the bitchier goddesses (ie. my personal favorite, the Morrigan, are reactions to OMG teh repressive male deities. By all accounts, it seems the Morrigan is bitchy because she *is* bitchy.

I'm going over some really rough ground right now, is all...

Comments

[madra-liath.livejournal.com]

I feel you on the disillusionment, Matrix. There was a horrendous amount of sexual abuse in my own diocese, which of course we've only found out about recently. And I disagree with Benedict (and John Paul before him) on a lot of things. The only thing I could do was go away, read my holy book, make up my own mind. In the end, I decided to stay a Catholic. Of course, it's different for me - the religious zealots here are not as vocal or as crazy as they are in parts of the USA. There's also the fact that being Catholic is a large part of my cultural identity (since I'm Irish). I haven't been inside a church since Good Friday (breaking an absence of several months) and it's something I probably should change - can I really call myself Catholic if I don't take the Eucharist?

it seems the Morrigan is bitchy because she *is* bitchy.

Course she is! She's the goddess of war (married to Nuada Airgeadlámh, if memory serves). There must be WAR, or else what will Madbh and Badbh have to eat?

Or maybe she's bitchy because her mouth is on one side of her face. And she's all red.

[koemiko.livejournal.com]

I have to tell you the truth...

I've had family and friends seriously upset by Christianity, the Catholic Church, Paganism, and yes, even Taoism and Buddhism... all which I can give you examples of if you want. (I don't want to stuff extra crap into comments if it's not useful to you.)

Bottom line: every group, culture, subculture, religion and belief system, has its assholes.

[anivad.livejournal.com]

My mother left Taoism for Christianity when she was a teenager. The grass is always greener on the other side.

[queen-lily-rose.livejournal.com]

If You Want Or Need To Talk I'm Here.

[nightofcydonia.livejournal.com]

Do you have to have a faith? I've never had one (I wasn't even christened, much to the annoyence of certain family members)and it suits me fine. I have my own mixed bag of proto-beliefs and theories about things, some of which resemble aspects of various religions (including Catholicism), and some of which I came up with on my own, so the way I see it, I get to have all of religion's upsides without the preaching or being associated with idiots (plus I don't have to go to church). But that's just me. I don't know anything about Taoism, so I can't comment on that, but I if you decide to go down the pagan route, I know someone who made a similer switch (I can't remember the exact term for what she used to be. Armanian something. She said it was a bit like Greek Orthodox), and has had to deal with the accompanying familial disapproval, so if you wanted I could introduce you. You could compare notes.
~Weaver