MxO-related angst

[matrixrefugee]

The interesting news: The Truce between Zion and the Machines has broken and all hell is breaking loose.

The bad news: this couldn't come at a worse time for me, since I'm so emotionally drained. I barely have the strength to keep my head up in real life, how can I handle the pressures ingame? I've asked for suggestions from the people who know me, and the general consensus is I should take a break for a while, at least till this spell of depression passes. One or two people have, unfortunately, said I should delete my character and close my account. I just wish they could understand -- no, I wish they could *KNOW* how that feels when they tell me that. I've had this little girl in my head or I've been in her head for so long, I feel that to take such drastic action would be to kill my own brain-child or worse, to kill some tiny part of me. I can't help feeling that if I did take this course of action, it would in some way make it easier for me to cancel my life account or to delete myself, as it were.

I wish I weren't so damn sensitive... or that I lived in the early 19th Century when the Romantic Era was at its height, and people would just credit these feeling to my being creative. Although, if I really *had* been born in the 19th Century, I'd have to put up with their ridiculously narrow views about women.

Comments

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

Those who have never been depressed really can't understand it. Stick to your guns and hang onto the character you love so much and have put so much work into! No one has the right to tell you what to do with her. Surely there's some way in-game to engineer a time-out into your schedule?

[koemiko.livejournal.com]

1. So they went back to that which made The Matrix in the first place. I'm a little sad I'm not there to see it.

2. I have to agree with crowdog's sentiment of "Those who have never been depressed really can't understand it." I would also suggest working a time-out... maybe it'll even give you a chance for a side plot. (Er, you do RP there, yes?)

3. I've got mixed feelings about the 19th century. I'd like a bit of the more basic skills like cooking and sewing, not to mention the opportunity to learn to work harder at things and eat differently as to help with my overweight status. I also think I'd devote a lot more time time to reading and writing.

And I think women had more support back then. I also think that it's easier to fight for independence while being secure of as opposed to fighting to be secure while you're independent.

What I mean by secure... someone to take care of you. Your father, or living with relatives/family and their husbands. Financially secure, and someone to help you get by.

On the other hand, I imagine it would also cause trouble, since sometimes family can get to be too much. And I would miss having the opportunity to become worldly... learning about news events, hearing what people across the globe think, politics, science, and theories...

[matrixrefugee.livejournal.com]

I'm working on an in-character reason as to why our girl has to bow out of active service in the Matrix for a month and a half: the simplest idea is that she's working on a Real-side base of operation for her faction and thus procuring the supplies and labor for it are taking up all of her time.