Retail therapy not quite working

[matrixrefugee]

Had an appointment with my therapist for the first time in almost three months -- holidays and just plain being tired and run-down caused me to miss the last one, which would have been in the middle of December. In some ways I'm stabilized, in other ways I'm hanging by a thread.

Today being one of those days. I've had two caplets of 5-HTP today, but they don't seem to be doing much to shake the overwhelming feeling of worthlessness that's hovering over me. Not even finally getting the DVD of "Stardust" could perk me up. I honestly feel like I could just disappear and no one but my parents would think to look for me or even notice if I was gone, except that people would suddenly realise there was one less person to kick around.

Seems the writing group at the library has disbanded, which is extremely unfortunate. One more thing that helped keep me going that's been snatched out of my hands. I keep going on just for the sake of the few folk I trust, since I'm really having a very hard time going on for myself right now.

Comments

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

It's really hard to see out of the hole once we've dug ourselves into it... I'm glad you went to see your therapist... are you on a treatment plan that involves drug therapy? Just wondering because I found it really made the difference for me when I was going through a bad one... *hugs*

[matrixrefugee.livejournal.com]

We've considered pharmaceuticals, but I'm really reluctant to try those on account of all the side-effects. That and I know a couple of people on depression medication who really haven't shown a lot of improvement, so I'm not really sold on the idea. I know it's impossible to get other people to change, but I think things would go better if people just were nicer to each other, if they could be made to realize that the rest of the human race outnumbers them six billion to one and that the way they treat other people could have more of an impact on that one person than they realize...

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

However you can't change the human race, nothing you can do will change the way people treat you. The only thing you can change is the way you choose to react to it. Ya know?

Drug therapy is a successful option if explored correctly. Do not base other peoples experiences against yourself because everyone reacts differently. They may not have marked improvement because they aren't on the right medication, the right dose or the right combination.

AND I wasn't on it forever either. It's not like once you start taking them that's it your stuck for life. I was maybe on drug therapy for around 2 years or so... It helped me get through what I needed, and then I worked my way off them.

Just a thought... Don't be so rough on yourself ya know?

[elaryn.livejournal.com]

A question, if I may? "Retail therapy"?

[koemiko.livejournal.com]

I have to agree with this... don't rule it out completely.

Also, sometimes it takes just the right mix, right dosage of drugs to get it right...

[matrixrefugee.livejournal.com]

"Retail therapy" is my term for poking around looking at books and DVD when I'm depressed, to try and get my mind off it.

[(Anonymous)]

I would second looking into drug therapy, at least for a little while. I'm against the whole "overdrugging" of society as a whole, but when it's there as an option and you could benefit from it, it'd be foolish not to at least see if it would help.
I for one have been on drug treatments in the past: during and after my stay in rehab when I was a teenager, I had horrible depression and anxiety (which I still sometimes get– runs in the family). I was on suicide watch twice, and I truly believe I would have probably killed myself if I hadn't acknowledged that this was something I could fix by taking (legal!) pharmaceuticals– as much as I was deathly afraid I'd get addicted to THOSE. It was risk I had to take, because I knew I just couldn't live feeling the way I felt. I didn't get addicted, and except for during a couple of justifiable panic attacks, I haven't needed the drugs for almost 5 years.
So, there's my story. I'm not trying to convince you of anything, just to show that many people really improve using medication. If you have a headache, you take Aspirin, don't you? Why shouldn't you try to fix this emotional ache with something readily available? Long and short of it is, you'll never know if it works for you if you never try it.
Blathered enough. Best of luck, luv, and as always, if you need an ear to chew, I'm here.
Ruby

[elaryn.livejournal.com]

Ah. That makes sense. I think I must do that, too. :-)