Retail therapy not quite working

[matrixrefugee]

Had an appointment with my therapist for the first time in almost three months -- holidays and just plain being tired and run-down caused me to miss the last one, which would have been in the middle of December. In some ways I'm stabilized, in other ways I'm hanging by a thread.

Today being one of those days. I've had two caplets of 5-HTP today, but they don't seem to be doing much to shake the overwhelming feeling of worthlessness that's hovering over me. Not even finally getting the DVD of "Stardust" could perk me up. I honestly feel like I could just disappear and no one but my parents would think to look for me or even notice if I was gone, except that people would suddenly realise there was one less person to kick around.

Seems the writing group at the library has disbanded, which is extremely unfortunate. One more thing that helped keep me going that's been snatched out of my hands. I keep going on just for the sake of the few folk I trust, since I'm really having a very hard time going on for myself right now.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I would second looking into drug therapy, at least for a little while. I'm against the whole "overdrugging" of society as a whole, but when it's there as an option and you could benefit from it, it'd be foolish not to at least see if it would help.
I for one have been on drug treatments in the past: during and after my stay in rehab when I was a teenager, I had horrible depression and anxiety (which I still sometimes get– runs in the family). I was on suicide watch twice, and I truly believe I would have probably killed myself if I hadn't acknowledged that this was something I could fix by taking (legal!) pharmaceuticals– as much as I was deathly afraid I'd get addicted to THOSE. It was risk I had to take, because I knew I just couldn't live feeling the way I felt. I didn't get addicted, and except for during a couple of justifiable panic attacks, I haven't needed the drugs for almost 5 years.
So, there's my story. I'm not trying to convince you of anything, just to show that many people really improve using medication. If you have a headache, you take Aspirin, don't you? Why shouldn't you try to fix this emotional ache with something readily available? Long and short of it is, you'll never know if it works for you if you never try it.
Blathered enough. Best of luck, luv, and as always, if you need an ear to chew, I'm here.
Ruby