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matrixrefugeeI don't think I am ever taking another week off from work, since this week bit so horribly. I couldn't even wake up this morning without something happening, namely a spring working through my mattress and jabbing me in the leg. Meaning, I had to buy a new mattress cover, and a new mattress pad in a week when money is going to be tight since I didn't work this week.
I wish Merry was still alive to cheer me up. Why couldn't someone's ugly, man-eating pit bull die, instead of this lovely little bird who did more in his lifetime than some people do, because he left the world a little better and brighter than when he came into it? If there was some way to take the life force out of all the pit bulls in all the world and put it into Merry so he'd be back with us, I'd do it. I don't care what it costs, even if it costs my soul. I can't get the image out of my head, of my mother sitting in the bedroom, holding Merry wrapped in his little shroud and crying over him. I don't want that image in my head, I want to be able to go into our dining room and see him playing with his bell or hear him chitter-chattering away. I don't want to have to go to all the work it takes to train a new bird to talk, and it requires a lot of patience, which I admit, I don't really have much of at the best of times, and especially not now, when the universe seems to be conspiring against me. It's like there's something out there that can't stand seeing me happy, so it has to barge in and destroy something I need or value. Whatever it is, why can't this thing go barge into some gangbanger's life and destroy his gun stash or his drugs? When's enough?!
I wish Merry was still alive to cheer me up. Why couldn't someone's ugly, man-eating pit bull die, instead of this lovely little bird who did more in his lifetime than some people do, because he left the world a little better and brighter than when he came into it? If there was some way to take the life force out of all the pit bulls in all the world and put it into Merry so he'd be back with us, I'd do it. I don't care what it costs, even if it costs my soul. I can't get the image out of my head, of my mother sitting in the bedroom, holding Merry wrapped in his little shroud and crying over him. I don't want that image in my head, I want to be able to go into our dining room and see him playing with his bell or hear him chitter-chattering away. I don't want to have to go to all the work it takes to train a new bird to talk, and it requires a lot of patience, which I admit, I don't really have much of at the best of times, and especially not now, when the universe seems to be conspiring against me. It's like there's something out there that can't stand seeing me happy, so it has to barge in and destroy something I need or value. Whatever it is, why can't this thing go barge into some gangbanger's life and destroy his gun stash or his drugs? When's enough?!
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Date: 2009-07-25 07:14 am (UTC)