Depressed

[matrixrefugee]

The plan for the day was for the three of us to go to Salem. But then my mom had a crying jag out of the blue, so she told my dad and I to go without her... But we just couldn't. I was worried sick that something might happen to her while we were gone, plus I'd started feeling depressed myself, so we decided to wait till next week...

So now, I am trying to do what I would have done if we weren't going anyway, which is working on writing my current magnum opus... only to find the computer ate one of the files, which I'm trying to restore, but that's not working, so now I'm feeling worse than before. Never mind that I can't remember exactly what I wrote, so I can't even rewrite it, which is just making the depression escalate even more. I'm about ready to stop writing the damn thing and delete everything I've posted. I haven't had any feedback on it in a while and I just feel like I'm boring you all to death with it. The temptation to start begging for reviews like a tweenager on fanfiction.net is eating at me, but I'm not about to annoy you completely by doing that. If you want me to stop posting it and just save it for my own private consumption, just let me know.

Comments

[ladyneferankh.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean--even if my Mom will assure me it's fine I feel guilty leaving her all alone in the house when she's feeling down.

I don't think you should give up on your writing--although I know how it can be infuriatingly difficult to piece back together the pieces of a story. (I had to do that when the pages I wrote a story on were literally torn to pieces) But--if your primary reason is to write for your own pleasure, and that of other friends, then it's worth going on. I do know it's a toughie, posting, and then anxiously waiting for the feedback that never seems to come, but your writing is not without value, both for yourself and others.

Personally, I don't mind the postings, I don't think they're excessive--and you put everything most politely behind a cut. There is no reason for you to feel the need to restrain yourself.

* hugs *

[matrixrefugee.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the kind words: I've managed to pull myself together a little and I decided to try *hand*-writing for a change and I wrote a perfectly solid bit involving my Grigori characters (which helped me get to know more of them though I doubt many of them will become key players, but who knows...). I had gotten away from drafting stuff longhand (in a bid to economize my time), but I think I need a break from composing at the keyboard...

[veilofveronica.livejournal.com]

I hope your mom's ok and that everything turns out.

[matrixrefugee.livejournal.com]

She's fine, just wasn't feeling well. Hopefully we can get to Salem Monday or Tuesday next week, weather and my work schedule permitting.

[(Anonymous)]

I think you should post whatever you feel like, regardless of what you think anybody else may percieve. It is yours, no one else's.