Writer's Block: Go it alone

[matrixrefugee]

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Short answer: a resounding "YES!" since I've been badgered with this question myself.

Long answer: It depends. I've experienced pressure and ostracism in some groups and on some forums (one of the many reasons I quit the Catholic Answers Forum), and yet I also have friends and acquaintances who accept the fact that I'm not interested in having kids for a number of very personal reasons. And then there's the Nosy Co-Worker who's always going on about little Connor and little Madison and who seems to expect me to have a Mommy Story to share in turn. At the same time, while I'm technically ChildFree, I avoid actually using the term since there seems to be a noisy contingent who all but froth at the mouth if anyone has kids at all, which unfortunately reflects badly on those who, like myself, have opted not to have kids for whatever serious, personal reasons. It's people like that who make me think, "Bzuh? How the yell are we supposed to continue as a species if *nobody* has kids?"

In my case, there are a lot of reasons I have opted out of the breeding pool. First of all, having Asperger's Syndrome: I have days when I can just take care of myself and my cockatiel, let alone take care of a kid as well. It would not be fair to my kid to have a mother who's emotionally dragging herself around. Second of all: finding someone to have a child with; I'll admit I have a very clear view of the kind of man I would like to be in a relationship, but unfortunately, he's not the kind of guy who generally falls for a grocery CSR. I'm not the sort of person to just settle for the first reasonable guy who comes along, which I see as a form of selling oneself short. Thirdly: I value my independence and my interests; I may not have a lot of money, but I make do with what I have. Kids require a lot of time and attention and since I am a professional fandom geek, I'd have to cut down drastically on fandom in order to take care of kids and that wouldn't really make me happy. Maybe that sounds selfish to some people, but this is how I balance the crosses that I carry in life so I don't fall under them so hard. Fourthly: I've worked grocery retail for so long and seen so many bratty kids come through my lane that I decided that I just didn't want to deal with the aggravation. Sure, kids are funny and they come out with bits of innocent wisdom that leave me in awe, but at the same time, they can be whiny little snot-monsters who throw tantrums that draw the stares of everyone in the check-out as they flail on the floor because you didn't buy them a box of Xtra-Frostid ChocoRox.

Comments

[koemiko.livejournal.com]

I want to use a rolled-up newspaper on people who repeatedly suggest having a baby while single. Being a single parent is HARD, especially if you have difficulty managing yourself alone.