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matrixrefugeeI knew I should have taken a mental health day today... I could feel it. I don't know if it's the season or the amount of pressure I'm under at work, or what it is, but I just felt supremely low all day today, this after having one of my mother's relatives show up at work and anNOY me. You just don't call someone by their first name at the beginning or end of every sentence you address to them: it's annoying and it makes you sound like a broken robot. Then today, I had this maddening customer who inSISted that I put a 20 pound turkey into a paper bag... I told her they didn't fit very well, but she ordered me to do it. So after I sucked up to her, she had to go and rearrange every single bag I had bagged. Like what I did wasn't good enough. I got a bright idea, lady: Bag Your Own Damn Groceries Next Time!!!
That wasn't it for the night: they kept sending me out to put away the overstock and then they'd call me back after about ten minutes... ::sigh::
*Then*, at the very end of the night, as I'm about to head out, "Jim", the supervisor I can't stand, buttonholed me about how I hadn't pushed out a carriage for a man with two carriages. Hello? the guy looked like he could handle it, and he was the one who took hold of the second carriage, pulling it behind him. Plus, I wasn't thinking straight since I wasn't feeling emotionally well, so it was all I could do to put the stuff in the bags properly and put them in the carriage right-side up.
I honestly felt like saying to "Jim", "Listen: now is not a good time to be correcting me, since right now I feel like everything I do ain't worth jack shit. Next time you wanna do this to me, find some way to balance it with a little praise; or is there some kind of company policy against telling the sackers they're doing a good job?
"I have a depression problem. It's not something I do for kicks or to get attention. It's something I've unfortunately developed, and I'd give anything to be rid of it so I don't have to constantly feel like I'm getting curb-stomped by everyone.
"Y'know what, fucker?! I hope you wind up feeling exactly what I'm feeling. I hope your little girlfriend ditches you and takes your kid away from you, so you'll feel exactly every bit as shitty as I do, since I can't fuckin' find a guy to give a damn about me!!!"
I *did* manage to put some of this anger into the next page or two of "Angry Transhuman" (the short story I've been poking at the past month or so: I managed to get several pages of that written last night.) I might take a mental health day tomorrow and work on it....
And my dad and I got our Christmas tree into the house: it's a Frazier Fir this year, not as fragrant as a balsam, but they last a lot longer and they don't drop needles as badly.
Here's a bit of news that made me *really* like the place my dad's working for:
Mahoney's Garden Center supplied poinsettia plants for Symphony Hall in Boston. Yes, the flowers on the stage for the Boston Symphony Orchestra's Christmas/Holiday concerts (with the BSO as their more laid-back alter-ego the Boston Pops). WOW!!! That really made them earn MR points!
That wasn't it for the night: they kept sending me out to put away the overstock and then they'd call me back after about ten minutes... ::sigh::
*Then*, at the very end of the night, as I'm about to head out, "Jim", the supervisor I can't stand, buttonholed me about how I hadn't pushed out a carriage for a man with two carriages. Hello? the guy looked like he could handle it, and he was the one who took hold of the second carriage, pulling it behind him. Plus, I wasn't thinking straight since I wasn't feeling emotionally well, so it was all I could do to put the stuff in the bags properly and put them in the carriage right-side up.
I honestly felt like saying to "Jim", "Listen: now is not a good time to be correcting me, since right now I feel like everything I do ain't worth jack shit. Next time you wanna do this to me, find some way to balance it with a little praise; or is there some kind of company policy against telling the sackers they're doing a good job?
"I have a depression problem. It's not something I do for kicks or to get attention. It's something I've unfortunately developed, and I'd give anything to be rid of it so I don't have to constantly feel like I'm getting curb-stomped by everyone.
"Y'know what, fucker?! I hope you wind up feeling exactly what I'm feeling. I hope your little girlfriend ditches you and takes your kid away from you, so you'll feel exactly every bit as shitty as I do, since I can't fuckin' find a guy to give a damn about me!!!"
I *did* manage to put some of this anger into the next page or two of "Angry Transhuman" (the short story I've been poking at the past month or so: I managed to get several pages of that written last night.) I might take a mental health day tomorrow and work on it....
And my dad and I got our Christmas tree into the house: it's a Frazier Fir this year, not as fragrant as a balsam, but they last a lot longer and they don't drop needles as badly.
Here's a bit of news that made me *really* like the place my dad's working for:
Mahoney's Garden Center supplied poinsettia plants for Symphony Hall in Boston. Yes, the flowers on the stage for the Boston Symphony Orchestra's Christmas/Holiday concerts (with the BSO as their more laid-back alter-ego the Boston Pops). WOW!!! That really made them earn MR points!
