Being haunted by a song...
Jan. 23rd, 2010 11:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matrixrefugeeI mentioned recently that I got the inspiration to write a semi-songfic based on "Behind Blue Eyes" by the Who when the song happened to pop up on the radio the other day. I know it's probably just a case of the song just happening to be in the current rotation of the radio station involved, but I put the radio on just now and guess what was playing as I did so? That makes the third time in two days I've heard "Behind Blue Eyes" just as I flick the radio on. It's creepy, like someone is trying to tell me something, or I'm being compelled to write the damn thing (especially since I'm being annoyed by the memory of a bad OOC!Angsty!Agent Smith fic based on it from back in the day).
It's coming out more as a character sketch of sorts, or a series of vignettes with some of the lyrics as a framing device, dealing with the inner angst and self-loathing that a younger Muraki is hiding from the world. As arrogant and vain as our boy might be, I get the feeling that a part of him despises himself for allowing himself to be consumed by his own inner demons, a part of him that only maybe one or two people (Sakaki and/or Oriya) has ever seen up close and personal. It's a challenge to write, mostly because younger!Muraki is so different from the creepy bastard fandom knows, plus there's elements creeping in that some people are likely to object to, specifically a bit involving a suicide attempt that's as much a case of our boy being theatrical as it is a case of his self-loathing turning to self-destruction. I can just hear the angry comments, "Muraki wouldn't do that." Well, yes, the Muraki known from the anime and the manga, the confident, practiced killer who's honed his abilities into an artform wouldn't do that, but what about a younger, sadder version who's still trying to cling to the last fraying shreds of his innocence, even as his idealism has decayed to despair and anger?
It's coming out more as a character sketch of sorts, or a series of vignettes with some of the lyrics as a framing device, dealing with the inner angst and self-loathing that a younger Muraki is hiding from the world. As arrogant and vain as our boy might be, I get the feeling that a part of him despises himself for allowing himself to be consumed by his own inner demons, a part of him that only maybe one or two people (Sakaki and/or Oriya) has ever seen up close and personal. It's a challenge to write, mostly because younger!Muraki is so different from the creepy bastard fandom knows, plus there's elements creeping in that some people are likely to object to, specifically a bit involving a suicide attempt that's as much a case of our boy being theatrical as it is a case of his self-loathing turning to self-destruction. I can just hear the angry comments, "Muraki wouldn't do that." Well, yes, the Muraki known from the anime and the manga, the confident, practiced killer who's honed his abilities into an artform wouldn't do that, but what about a younger, sadder version who's still trying to cling to the last fraying shreds of his innocence, even as his idealism has decayed to despair and anger?
