I'm sorry I put you all through that...

[matrixrefugee]

I'm in a much better frame of mind tonight than I have been the past few days. Going to my therapist for a regularly scheduled appointment helped, even though I was barely able to scratch the surface of my recent litany of woes. I'm still extremely leery about going on anti-depressants, since the depression tends to be intermittant (it usually flares up around times of change in my hormonal cycle, ie. around the start of my period and when I'm ovulating), so I don't feel that taking them constantly would help, since part of the time, they'd be utterly unnecessary. And second, half of the reason why I'm depressed has to do with not being in a relationship. Maybe I'd be more "attractive" if I were less depressed, but it would be just my dumb luck that if I were on meds and I did find that right guy for me, I'd be back to square one since the meds would doubtlessly snooker any interest that I might have in pursuing the physical aspects of said relationship. Plus, we're coming up to to the Holiday Designed to Torment Unattached Singles, and when you work in retail as I do, there is no escaping the onslaught of the Dreaded Little Red Hearts.

To everyone who's been sending me messages, getting on my case, kicking me in the ribs to get up and get moving again, I just want to thank you for being there and putting up with me. I'm sorry if I made you all worry needlessly, but I just want you all to know what a decent, caring, tough-lovin' bunch you are, and that I realize how blessed I am to know you.

In other news, I heard from Amazon.com about the package that got lost (it was supposed to be a Christmas present for my dad, but I'll re-order it for his birthday): I was going to take care of that when I went into Lowell today, but as I was checking my email, I found a message from them saying that they'd tracked a recent order of mine and found that it never made it to the Tewksbury Post Office, and so they refunded the cost, back to my checking account. I'm mad that the Post Office screwed up my order, but I'm relieved that this got straightened out in such a timely manner! No wonder Amazon is the world's best bookseller...

And for the "DegSep" crowd, I just finished and will soon post a short Michelle and the Merv romance teeny-ficlet...

Comments

[eastpath.livejournal.com]

in regards to the medication thing.. i resisted for years and years the idea of drug therapy until i got so low a friend begged her doctor to let me come in and become a patient (to a clinic that wasn't taking patients at all, so lucky me!) and they put me on Paxil. It turned me right around! It brought me right out of what was going on and detached me from it. It allowed me the mental space to solve my issues and move on with my life. It did not change my sex drive at all. I stayed very active on that front throughout my treatment. (however i imagine that's different for everyone) i stayed on it for 3 years and i've been off of it for a year now. so far so good! it helped me through a very hard time and once i got past it with my doctors assitance i took myself off it.

so that's my experience and i hope it helps a bit. *hugs*