You and Me and "Matrix" RPGs

[matrixrefugee]

I don't know what it is that hates me, but I can't seem to fit into any "Matrix" RPGs out there, or they just don't work out for some odd reason.

--The one on "zionmainframe.net": I posted a character sheet, the GM said it looked good, they said they'd get back to me. Two months go by, and I don't hear boo about it. Then, I discover that they deleted the messageboard for the RPG.

--The Official MORPG: Costs $10 a month to play. I don't have that kind of cash, plus the art design looks tacky (On showing her some of the screenshots, an artist friend of mine said it looked like Skank Night at a sleazy bar).

--Now my tentative place in Laurie's RPG is falling to pieces. I thought I was doing well with that, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I'm playing far too sensitively, and there ain't much room for sensitivity in this universe.

Maybe I should just leave the fandom or not be so open about it, because right now I'm wishing I'd taken the damn blue pill. This is why I took the name "Matrix Refugee", or why that name found me, as it were. My first choice was "Matrix Rebel", but I know that I'm too gentle-hearted to make a true Rebel, which was when my current handle came to me.

Comments

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

-Now my tentative place in Laurie's RPG is falling to pieces. I thought I was doing well with that, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I'm playing far too sensitively, and there ain't much room for sensitivity in this universe.

*raises an eyebrow*

That's not quite accurate. Hell, it's not accurate at all. There's plenty of sensitivity required to play in the universe I've created -- it's just not the light-hearted, Jane Austen type of sensitivity you seem to be aiming for. Go play in a slice-and-dice, no-character-development-whatsoever campaign sometime and you'll see a place where sensitivity is really a disadvantage.

Also, let's be honest: you have some problems with the basic underpinnings of my Matrix AU, not the least of which is a prominent slash relationship that genuinely irks you, and this has inhibited your ability to function in the RP. And let me be clear that I am not assigning blame here, or making a judgement -- it's a simple fact. We've done very well playing in the A.I.: Artificial Intelligence RP I'm running, so I know it's not a player/GM issue, and I love, love, LOVE the work you've done in that particular campaign. I'd still like to work with the Merovingian-verse track, which has turned out some really delightful pieces, but it's entirely up to you. And Joe really misses Hal and Cecie, just FYI. :-D

It sounds to me like you've just had a plain run of bad luck in finding a Matrix RP that suits you. That sucks, but to take it as a reflection on your skills as a player would be a grave error, so please, don't make that mistake.

[matrixrefugee.livejournal.com]

Maybe we should discuss it: I left some things out in that post, partly because I wasn't focused enough to type straight last night, and I may have exaggerated other things (I tend to turn bugs into Squiddies when I'm really spinning out emotionally). I'll be on AIM around 10 or 11 CST tonight.

[crowdog66.livejournal.com]

*smiles* I'll do my best; more pages have come in from NBM, so I'll be painting like a fiend. I might not be on AIM for the next couple of days at all...

[matrixrefugee.livejournal.com]

Hey, understood! Your work is a lot more vital than my RP frustrations, so I can sit tight till then.