Jan. 2nd, 2006

matrixrefugee: the word 'refugee' in electric green with a background of green matrix code (Cogito_Ergo_Snark)
All because of the winter storm that's supposed to hit sometime tonight. The weather reporters are calling it a "winter storm" since it's supposed to be a mix of freezing rain/sleet/snow. Consquently, the store was JAMMED today. As one customer put it, "You'd think they'd never seen snow before." Thus, I had to listen to a whole lot of whinewhinewhining over the fact that it's supposed to snow. The worst are the idiots that say they'd just been to Florida and they wished they'd stayed there. That makes two of us, since that means I wouldn't have to listen to them piss and moan about the snow. As I said to one rara avis in terra, an actual snow-liking customer who showed up, "You'd think it was clotted hydroflouric acid falling from the sky instead of frozen water crystals."

And I've found out the real story on Banana Woman. Have I mentioned Banana Woman before? If I have, skip the next paragraph. If not, sit back: this is an insane little story about an insane little woman.

The very first day I started bagging, this older woman (mid to late 70s) came through the register with several loose bananas. I put one banana into the bag, and I'd started putting another one in. She chimes in, "Don't make the bags too heavy." I mean, how the heck heavy is one banana? A few ounces? Six months ago, a woman (possibly the same one: I didn't get a good look at her since I was looking down to see what I was doing) came through with a bunch of McCormick-Schilling gravy mix envelopes. I put one into the bag and, with the other hand, start putting in a few more. Same thing: "Don't make the bags too heavy." I screwed her by putting only one item in each bag. I mean, you could probably mail one of those gravy mix packets for 37 cents, U.S.

This morning, I'm putting a box of Kotex tampons into the bag with one hand, and with the other, I'm about to put a package of paper napkins. Guess what the customer said to me? Right. "Don't make the bags too heavy." I look over to see "Maureen" the cashier, bagging up a bunch of stuff, completely ignoring the customer's yarking. When the anNOYing old battleaxe had gone on her way, and during a brief lull, I turned to Maureen and said, "Did you see what I was putting into that first bag for that old witch who was yarking about how much I was putting into the bags?" Said Maureen, "Yeah, she does that to every sacker: it's not just you." I then proceeded to tell Maureen the story of the bananas and the McCormick-Schilling packets; to those stories she replied, "It was probably her: don't let her drive you nuts."

And one of my headspace dwellers said, in response to all this, "I suspect the dear sweet little old git's Kotex is giving her a nappy rash." That kept me smiling the rest of the shift!

April 2017


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