"John Carpenter's Vampires"
Jun. 19th, 2009 04:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
matrixrefugeeJust... "John Carpenter's Vampires". I can just hear the Catholic League fuming over the way the Church is portrayed, but if that's the case, they'd better not touch Walker Percy, since he's not above writing about seemingly nice priests who turn out to be bastards and bad Catholics who are in fact good if not exactly nice guys. Move over, Edwierd: Valek would eat you for a snack, if Jack Crow didn't rip your little toushe off and hand it back to you in itty-bitty, tiny pieces. This from John Carpenter, on casting James Woods as a bad-ass vampire hunter: "James Woods is the kind of guy you’d believe could and would chew off the leg off a vampire". Based on that alone, I think I'd better get back to working on my Moonlight/Shark crossover...
Also, this has to be the best bit of expository dialogue on vampires, ever:
Jack Crow: You ever seen a vampire?
Father Adam Guiteau: No I haven't.
Jack Crow: No... Well first of all, they're not romantic. It's not like they're a bunch of fuckin' fags hoppin' around in rented formal wear and seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Euro-trash accents, all right? Forget whatever you've seen in the movies: they don't turn into bats, crosses don't work. Garlic? You wanna try garlic? You could stand there with garlic around your neck and one of these buggers will bend you fucking over and take a walk up your strada-chocolata WHILE he's suckin' the blood outta your neck, all right? And they don't sleep in coffins lined in taffeta. You wanna kill one, you drive a wooden stake right through his fuckin' heart. Sunlight turns 'em into crispy critters.
Also, this has to be the best bit of expository dialogue on vampires, ever:
Jack Crow: You ever seen a vampire?
Father Adam Guiteau: No I haven't.
Jack Crow: No... Well first of all, they're not romantic. It's not like they're a bunch of fuckin' fags hoppin' around in rented formal wear and seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Euro-trash accents, all right? Forget whatever you've seen in the movies: they don't turn into bats, crosses don't work. Garlic? You wanna try garlic? You could stand there with garlic around your neck and one of these buggers will bend you fucking over and take a walk up your strada-chocolata WHILE he's suckin' the blood outta your neck, all right? And they don't sleep in coffins lined in taffeta. You wanna kill one, you drive a wooden stake right through his fuckin' heart. Sunlight turns 'em into crispy critters.