matrixrefugee: the word 'refugee' in electric green with a background of green matrix code (New Years)
Here's hoping the fact that the bottle of alcohol-removed champagne *not* blasting the wall like it did last year is a sign that 2010 is going to be a good year.

And so we have a new year and a new decade ahead of us, like a fresh new blank book for us to write the next chapter in our life stories...

And the first song to pop into my head in 2010: "Gotta Knock a Little Harder" from the Cowboy Bebop movie (of course it would be some anime song :: Laughs:: ). The lyrics seem fitting, considering the doors I've sometimes closed to keep out some painful feelings or situations.



Off to go hunt up my copy of the late, great Arthur C. Clarke's "2010"...

EDITED: to fix incomplete idea. I hate it when the bubbles go to my head. :: laughs::
matrixrefugee: the word 'refugee' in electric green with a background of green matrix code (Default)
I wish I had a coat of silk
The color of the sky.
I wish I had a [lover] fair
As any butterfly.
I wish I had a house of stone
That looked out on the sea.
But most of all I wish that I
Was someone else but me...


--slightly paraphrased from a song on the late, great Jim Henson's "Muppet Show"
matrixrefugee: the word 'refugee' in electric green with a background of green matrix code (Default)
Don't ask me why, but this song seems to fit my situation...


Once upon a time I was of the mind
To lay your burden down
And leave you where you stood
And you believed I could
You'd seen it done before
I could read your thoughts
Tell you what you saw
And never say a word
But now all that is gone
Over with and done
Never to return

I can tell you why
People die alone
I can tell you I'm
A shadow on the sun

Staring at the loss
Looking for a cause
And never really sure
Nothing but a hole
To live without a soul
And nothing to be learned

I can tell you why
People go insane
I can show you how
You could do the same
I can tell you why
The end will never come
I can tell you I'm
A shadow on the sun

Hey

Shapes of every size
Move behind my eyes
Doors inside my head
Bolted from within
Every drop of flame
Lights a candle in
Memory of the one
Who lived inside my skin

I can tell you why
People go insane
I can show you how
You could do the same
I can tell you why
The end will never come
I can tell you I'm
A shadow on the sun

Shadow on the sun (8x)
Sun (2x)
matrixrefugee: the word 'refugee' in electric green with a background of green matrix code (Default)
Had to take a mental/physical health day from work today, thanks to my monthly. I'll let these lyrics from a Matchbox 20 song speak for me.

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me

Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be

April 2017

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