Between the good and bad, that's where you'll find me, Reaching for Heaven

...While I was in Lowell today, taking care of library business, I ordered an old but good album of spooky classical music, "Fright Night: Music that Goes Bump in the Night", as well as -- don't kill me -- Martha Stewart's "Spooky Sounds for Halloween": it's actually a pretty good album with great, high-quality sounds (albeit that it's a loop of a twenty minute cut: still, it's good if you just want to stick the disc in the player and hit the "repeat" button; I just might do that with my "mom's" Mustang, if she'll let me).

And I also ordered the blessed salt. Let's hope it comes by Hallowe'en, so I can ward the burying ground near my house.

I also took another poke at my Christmas shopping, but of course I can't say who I got what for...

That odd "Bloody Mary" urban legend was the spook of the week on "Supernatural", with echoes of "The Ring" and "Constantine" thrown in for good measure. I remember my friend "Wehnona" (not her real name) being hung up on that legend: she went through a spook phase that lasted most of her grade school years. At that time, I wasn't keen on spooks, since they, well, spooked me. By the time we got to high school and we started moving apart, she got out of the spook stuff and started getting into sports... and I started getting into the spooky stuff, mostly as a reaction to the inner and outer demons I was beginnging to discover.

The sporkage continues on *that* fic... I've been reading some of the later chapters: I can't let out too much, but one of my "Matrix" fic peeves shows up in it. GRRR!!!!! His Snideness is not pleased. Nor am I. ::Loading mini-sporks into her M16s::

Work and the Selina nonsense scrambled my head up. I haven't posted anything decent since then, so I'd better post a catch-up entry.

Thursday/Friday: Besides going to Lowell to get one last day of free print-outs at the Computer Lab and going to the Vokes Theatre with my folks (We may be going back next season when they do Peter Shafter's "Amadeus"; we saw the movie years ago... ironically on the 200th anniversary of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's death. I read the play when I was in between high school and college.), I also nipped into the "record" store around the corner from us: I found the soundtrack to "A Clockwork Orange" among the used CDs and snapped it up. Classical music reworked as electronica is really horrorshow. ...And I don't know if this means I'm turning into a fanbrat goth (ie. a kindergothen, a baby bat), but I found Evanescence's "Fallen" album in with the used CDs as well, so I got that. I listened to it at least three or four times on Friday night, and I ended up having to borrow some of Constantine's Holy Hand Grenades to exorcise the songfic killer plotbunnies that started hopping around. It's terrifying how well half the songs on that album fit into the "Constantine" fandom. If I ever did a soundtrack album for some of my fanfics (mostly in progress), I'd probably end up using a bunch of them, though that would irritate the Demon Hunter as I know him...

Saturday: That time of the month is looming up, and considering recent upsets, I crashed emotionally while I was at work. I was literally running on emotional fumes while I was trying to deal with three different customers bugging me about prices on a slew of items, *while* I was trying to straighten out the bread aisle. I had to let Flood front for several minutes while I sought the answers: Since he technically has no emotions, he can handle a whole lot of stimuli at once without snapping. That and he's very polite, albeit in a stiff manner. Finally, I managed to drag myself to the ladies room where I let myself cry for several long minutes. I was a mess: I started having suicidal ideations again. I mean, it would be so easy to off myself in a place like that... But Constantine stepped in -- or out, rather, and started giving me a verbal drubbing. Now, that might seem harsh, but it's how he works. He's *not* a cuddly guy, though he's a good guy when no one's looking. And I have to admit, his methods are effective; you might think it would be enough to break me, but it actually succeeds in beating the self-pitying snot out of me and making me mad enough to get up and keep going. He's like a guardian angel that way.

As I mentioned, I got let out early, which I took as a mental health day. When I came home, my mom had one of the PBS stations on the TV: they showed a couple concerts by the flamboyant light-classical violinist Andre Rieu and his little orchestra. This guy does *not* do your typical stiff classical concerts: You'll see people of all ages in the audience, some of them getting up and dancing in the aisles, or singing along with the pretty girls in the small chorus that's part of the group. And the orchestra itself doesn't stick to the black and white dress code that you find on most orchestras: the guys all wear these interesting 19th century formal suits and the ladies wear 19th century ball gowns: lots of character and lots of characters in that group! At one point, when they were playing a Spanish dance, someone (or a couple of someones) dressed in a cutesy bull costume came prancing down one of the aisles and started sniffing at the carnations in boxes along the front rim of the stage, just like H.H. Munro's "Ferdinand the Bull" (anyone here remember that cute old-fashioned kid's book?); then this chubby lady in a baggy red tent dress got spooked and ran up one of the aisles, whereupon the bull started prancing after her! I laughed so hard my sides were aching, which is just what I needed.

Sunday: Wound up *not* going to Mass since my poor father had a panic attack on his way home from work. Other than that, I spent the day recharging my batteries.

Today/Monday: Short shift today, and I've been poking at a few fics. I've also taken care of some much-needed housework on this LJ, sealing up some cracks against drafts... And come to find out that a certain fanbrat rated a thread on "fandom_wank" over on journalfen.com. To my understanding, it ain't the first time.

::Sigh...:: As if I didn't have enough on my mind, I have to have fangurl kiddies breathing firesoda bubbles down my neck.

Read this first: http://www.livejournal.com/users/matrixrefugee/121947.html?thread=113499#t113499

Now read this: http://www.livejournal.com/users/ladynyks/218076.html I'm lucky to have friends like Nyks.

I discovered this email when I first started reading my messages. This from the straight-to-the point Ruby: ( Cut for length )

And the leech also attacked Laurie, on her LJ, for the same reason. See here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/crowdog66/122646.html?thread=303638#t303638 . Grrr... If she's that successful, why does she have the time to pick on a grocery store clerk like me?! It's the working stiffs like myself that keep this world going. She's a model. So what? In ten years when she hits thirty-five, she's gonna be lucky if she can keep that job, once her metabolism starts to slow up and she starts gaining weight. I'd like to see her try to wrassle a thirty-pound bag of dog food, or push a fully-loaded shopping cart in bad weather.

Let me write a reply to her comment, which was much more scathing than my snarking at her fic:

I just wanted you to know that me and my friends had a great laugh about those topics - and especially about your passion about wasting your time on such a childish negativity.

This is childish negativity: UR FIC IZ TEH SUXX0RZ!!!!!!1111 GO @ HEL U BIATCH!!!!!1111

This is one of the things I said about her fic: "Quote [From the fic, gives you a taste of what I'm dealing with here]:
No. I can't do this, he thought. I can't kill her. Not after what I've learned from her. She changed me...

He's just a computer program. He's not real. This is not real, she thought, looking at him. He's just a program.... She looked at him. Oh God I can't do this...

Agent Smith, a sentient program, designed to search and destroy, was experiencing a new wave of emotions. He felt sadness. And frustration. He was frustrated by the fact that he was a sentient and she was a human. And by the fact that he couldn't bring himself to destroy that girl. "

I wrote: "Bzuh? Smith *HATES* humans, if he could be said to hate at all. One little Mary Sue isn't gonna make much difference. In fact, if there's one "Matrix" character who's likely to bump off Mary Sues, it's Smith."

Geez you people have nothing better to do that flaming a young and successful girl. I guess that a practising Catholic just cannot stand another 24-year-old Catholic model and Graphic Designer with looks and brains and attitude - and success, I might add.

I wasn't flaming you. I didn't post any reviews, and certainly not of the "DIE U MOTHERFUCKING COMMUNIST" variety that I've gotten recently. If you're Catholic, your attitude does *not* seem like the attitude of a faithful Catholic. And if you're so successful, why are you so uptight about my comments? It's like someone going after the guys who created MTS3K for snarking at their movie. Why should the remarks of a grocery store clerk bother you so much? Are you that insecure about it?

God forgive all your sins.

Amen.

Since when is it a sin to not like someone's story/movie/book/etc. and admit it in a public forum? Have you never read movie reviews? I've seen some that were a lot more scathing than my remarks. I was merely pointing out where the logic in that story didn't square with the logic of the movie it was inspired by.

I hope He forgives my sins, but you aren't the one to judge which of my actions are sins and which aren't. Turn the other goddamned cheek while you're at it, willya?