Between the good and bad, that's where you'll find me, Reaching for Heaven

Found when I was doing research for an idea for an unusual Merovingian faction in the MxO (I'm giving it one last shot):

Make Your Own Dan Brown Novel The more times you refresh the page, the funnier it gets! Case in point:

The Crowley Book
by Dan Brown

"A fascinating best-selling masterpiece of suspense! *****"
The Independent

The Assassins have kept the secret of the Colonel Sanders' fourteen herbs and spices for nearly a millennium. A Italian novelist has stumbled upon their trail. The Assassins will stop at nothing to keep their secret.

"A shocking tale of intrigue!"
The Guardian

It's been insanely busy here: with everyone having cook-outs/barbeques, work has been utter chaos; I think I did something to my shoulder, because right at the end of my shift Friday, I got this stabbing pain under my right shoulderblade. It seems okay now, but I'm leery of it. Plus, I seem to have a bit of ringing in the ears from having small children scream in them (I still don't know how we got past the Pliocene Era without going the way of the dinosaurs; a small child yelling at the top of his lungs would have attracted the attention of every velociraptor and sabre-toothed tiger for a five mile radius).

Thursday was my parents' wedding anniversary; after Mass at St. Francis (It was the feast of the Ascension) the three of us had dinner at the Cracker Barrel here in town. My folks had pork chops and mashed potatoes, I had shrimp and... fried breaded okra, which was somewhat adventurous on my part, since sometime ago we once cooked steamed okra, which was something of a mistake: eating steamed okra is like eating slimy steamed celery. Fried okra is much more tasty -- and less slimy.

And this just in for the "God, Shoot Me Now" file, re: the Damn Book and all it's hype --

There is a "Da Vinci Code" movie tie-in computer game, as I found out from flipping through "Electronic Gamer" recently. I have no idea how much of Dan Brown's anti-Catholic polemics made it into the game (I've heard the more honest critics say the movie is extremely unexciting and boring), but considering who buys computer games, usually -- the teens through early twenties bracket -- I'm worried that some young folks might have their faith shaken to the foundations. Mind you, I realize that adolescence is a time to start striking out on your own and questioning things, even things like the faith you were brought up in; I've skirted toward different faiths in the past, including Messianic Judaism, Mormonism, Rosicrucianism (I was sick of Catholicism being the media's pet whipping boy so I went for the most obscure thing I could come across that made sense to me at the time; who mocks Rosicrucians or writes novels about "OMG TEH BEEG EVOL ROSICRUSHUN CONSIPIRACY!!!!11111" ?), and even Paganism of the worshipping the male aspect variety (what do you call that actually?) as opposed to the Goddess-worship variety, since I just get plain anNOYed with the "embrace your inner Goddess" nonsense. It's a sacchrine version of the "Wymyn RULE; men DROOL" variety of feminism, which I just can't *stand*. I just don't want young folks to be misled into thinking Dan Brown's gross mis-information is actual, historical fact and actual theology, and so have their faith eroded. But... I suppose as they say, faith that's never been tested is no faith at all.

The pastor at St. Francis is optimistic about the whole matter, I have to agree with him, but I'm still trying to be realistic about it: he's hoping that people who read the Damn Book will get curious about what early Christianity was *REALLY* like and go searching for the answers and that they might just have their faith strengthened. Trouble is, I think I might know human nature at its most crass a better than he does: I realize that most people who read the Damn Book are just going to be wowed by the concepts and not give it any more thought. They consume it and move on to the next sensational tidbit that everyone's talking about. If they do think to examine anything beyond the Damn Book, they're likely to reach for Lincoln and Baigent's "Holy Blood, Holy Grail" or Margret Starbird's "The Woman with the Alabaster Jar", Dan Brown's primary sources for his ludicrous stuff. They're not likely to read the early Church fathers and see what those fellows like Gregory the Great and Ambrose and Athanasius really said... but there again, what do I know.

Had a hellish moment with the MxO software: for some wierd reason, I couldn't get the desktop shortcut to connect to the launcher. This after I'd tried tweaking the software after I couldn't get my guns to free-fire. At least someone else had the same gun glitch later in the same night, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Anyway... it was like the system just ate the file for the launcher. Scary as hell. This after a hellish day at work. But I managed to pull my wits together enough to run a System Restore. But then I was spooked so bad, I ended up having to tap someone for moral support on X-fire when I tried jacking in again.

Maybe this is the Old Scratch trying to throw me a beating for what I'm planning to do tomorrow:

I'm doing a "Sister Michael". For those of you who haven't heard of her, she's a British nun who unwittingly made international entertainment headlines for quietly sitting and praying the Rosary every day for 12 days outside one of the locations where the Damned Movie was being shot. I'll quietly show up at the movie theatre in Lowell tomorrow, when it opens, sit in a corner and quietly pray all 20 decades of the rosary (the Joyful, Sorrowful and Glorious Mysteries as well as Pope John Paul II's Luminous Mysteries), then quietly leave. There's people organizing big protest rallies in other places, but that's not me.

Oh, and Puck, I've found something that topped both the DaVinci Tarot Deck and the DaVinci organic pasta: One of the tabloid-style women's magazines in the check out had a headline. "The DaVinci Code Diet".

Me: ::Internal, quoting my father:: "'I've seen all things'..."

Flood: ::In my headspace:: "Well, what does it entail? Eating the bloody felching book? That would certainly mess up your insides and make it impossible for you eat anything ever again."

I didn't get a chance to, but I am gonna have to see what it entails....

There was a copy of the Damned Book. On. The. Shelf. I regularly trawl the adult fiction section and not *ONCE* until now have I seen a copy of the Damn Book actually, physically On. The. Shelf. You usually had to put in a request for it if you wanted to take it out, or there was that one time that it was on the "Library Staff Picks" shelf, which is when I took it out.

I guess that's because we sold all the copies of the paperback edition at the store where I work. People got sick of the waiting list game and bought it. I'm of a mind to buy a used copy off Amazon.com and jot little comments (explanatory, ie. "This is wrong and this is why..." or just plain snarky) in the margins. G.K. Chesterton did this with somebook or other and Ignatius Press recently published that book, witty comments and all.

There's a discussion about the Damned Book on catholics and someone had this to say about it:

"Some people have brought up the point that "it's only fiction." This is one of the best counter arguments to that I have ever seen. It was taken from a comment someone made on Amy Welborn's blog.

"Imagine someone writes a fictional book in which your mother is the main character. It describes her as having prostituted herself, cheated on your dad, and tried to kill you. But you shouldn't feel insulted because it's only fiction, right?

"Wrong. You'd be angry, and you certainly wouldn't go out and buy that book. You would make it just as clear as you possibly could that your mom was NOT a prostitute or murderer, because you would know that even though the story was made up, it would change the way a lot of people looked at your mother.

"The Church is our mother. The things that Dan Brown writes about the Church are just the same as if someone said those terrible things about your earthly mother. It does not matter that it is fiction. The slander is out there and people are believing it. Most people believe that "where there's smoke there's fire" and there must be SOME truth to the conspiracy theories about the Catholic Church. Dan Brown himself makes it very clear that he believes that what he wrote is more than just fiction."

Also, Catholic Answers has this page: http://www.catholic.com/library/cracking_da_vinci_code.asp One paragraph in particular has always stood out for me:

"[...]In spinning its conspiracy tale, The Da Vinci Code relies on information provided by documents that are established forgeries: Les Dossiers Secretes. Doubleday's release of the book is comparable to a major publisher releasing a novel based on anti-Jewish forgeries such as The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. If the publisher would turn down an anti-Jewish conspiracy novel based on these documents, it should do the same with The Da Vinci Code. The fact that it did not do so reveals a double standard and bigotry toward Christianity on its part."

Just back from an appointment in Lowell. I managed to get to the noon Mass at St. Joe's, and I did a little browsing at Barnes & Noble.

Oh.

My.

God.

The Damned Book, aka. The DaVinci Code is on a rampage. The paperback movie-tie-in edition is out, both in trade-paperback and drug-store-romance-novel size (anyone know what that size paperback is called, officially?). Consquently, the movie version is now officially the Damn Movie at our house (Yes, my family, especially my dad and I, have a thing for giving nicknames to persons/places/things we either really like or really hate, or gleefully get annoyed with). I wish I'd had a set of V's throwing knives under my cloak, I'd have done a little book-skewering.

Anyone here know where I can get an anti-Damn Book icon to add to my stable of LJ icons?

On that note, here's something Ruby shared with me, which she'd found on somethingawful.com, an interesting parody on my (in her words) "faaaavorite book-about-to-become-a-blockbuster-movie":

( Take that, and *that*, and *THAT*, Dan Brown! )

That wierd headache/leg-cramp/tailbone-ache combo nearly floored me at work today, but I managed to ge through my shift. Fortunately, I mostly did overstocking, or "unshopping", as my dad calls it (I like my dad's term for it better!)... but even *that* had pitfalls, since the store was crowded and people kept bumping into me/my carriage with their carriages, including "the Kamikaze Kid", as I was calling this 12 year old hellion who seemed to think it was "kool" try hitting me with his "kart" after he almost baffed me accidently the first time. Two more near-misses, kiddo, and I start to wonder if you have a death wish against me...

((Now wracking my brains for the funny line in Terry Prachett and Neil Gaiman's "Good Omens", involving "shopping trolleys", which would make a great transition...))

My latest order from Amazon.com showed up in the mail (along with a *huge* pile of letters and packages for my mom, so the mailbox was pretty crammed...): Last week, I'd ordered Max Allen Collins's "On the Road to Perdition: Detour", as well as "The Sandman 8: World's End". I just finished reading "World's End", and I'm about to re-read it (I was going into Sandman withdrawal...).

Also went to the library with my folks: I renewed The Damned Book, since I'm still re-reading it ::Kicks Marie-Suzette -- Sorry!!! -- Sophie Neveu's derriere:: I also found the latest mini-volume in the "Princess Diaries" series "The Princess Present". I used to like this series, but since Mia and Michael hitched up, it's been nothing but wall-to-wall snoogie-oogie crap. Teen snoogie-oogie crap. Which is the worst kind. I keep hoping it gets better... But I'm tempted to write a kind of "elsewhere" fanfiction crossover featuring the Royal Family I created for the "PHUTURE" campaign for the "A.I." RPG. I wonder how Mia would react to getting ogled by a guy who's shorter than her... and who also ogles her boyfriend. Half of the de Meroveque clan is nothing if not frank about their sexuality.... I also managed to get my hands on a copy of Neil Gaiman's "The Wolves in the Walls", which my friend Mark has read and reccommended. Sure, it's a kid book, but Neil wrote it! (I couldn't find his "The Day I Swapped My Dad for Two Fish", but I'll look in Lowell tomorrow)

And oh yes... website work tomorrow: someone sent me a fanfic for posting on the AIFFOA, but I'll have to read it on the CyberCafe comps since my word processor is gagging on their file. Plus, I have to remove a couple dead links... ::sighs:: A webmaster's work is never done...

I thought today was gonna be a bad one: I woke up late for my appointment with my therapist, so I had to call in and reschedule it for slightly later this afternoon. Which worked out well: it was cold this morning, and I really didn't want to stand in the cold waiting for the bus (the stupid Department of Public Works in this town still hasn't plowed the dumb sidewalk in front of my house, but the snow has melted down somewhat...). I'm less stressed about the up-coming neurological evaluation, though I'm still a leetle perturbed about St. Valentine's Day coming...

Nipped into the Lowell library long enough to get a couple CDs: the soundtracks for "Fantasia 2000" (which I have yet to see: I *LOVE* the original 1940 version), and the Disney version of "Hunchback of Notre Dame" (Don't shoot me: I liked it).

And mom and I got to the Tewksbury Library tonight: I renewed Orson Scott Card's "Enchantment" and Bocaccio's "Decameron", and...

I got that evil book out.

Yep.

The Matrix Refugee took out "The Da Vinci Code". I'm reading it just to see what all the yelling is about. And partly, yes, for inspiration for my own novel "Meroveque", which is *my* answer to it. And it'll be completely free from Catholic-bashing, too.

I leave you with two links that are helping me through it, these to an extremely funny DVC parody by a Catholic (who also wrote a very good book which defuses the worst of the Catholic-bashing in the DVC, "The Da Vinci Hoax"):

http://carl-olson.com/articles/duhvinci_con1.html

http://carl-olson.com/articles/duhvinci_con2.html

LAST FRIDAY -- Went to First Friday devotions at St. Joseph's in Lowell. I also found a minute to print out a few emails and to nip into the Barnes & Noble to buy Carl Olson and Sandra Meisel's "The Da Vinci Hoax", a book written from a Catholic POV that unravels the snarled-up history and mythology in the infamous "Da Vinci Code" novel, as well as exploding the anti-Catholic canards that fill the book.

TODAY -- Not very eventful, except that I went to work and my dad has gone down to Hershey, PA for the antique car show... He's going for just the one day, he'll be driving back tomorrow afternoon. Part of me wishes I was going, but I gotta work and pay off the money I owe myself for the sci-fi convention....

( New LJ icon )